FEELING CONNECTED

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Listen to Audio Version of Sermon (mp3)

When I first came upon this short film, I was really struck by it, especially with the final thought we are left with: "What is so scary about moving together at the same speed? Is it safety issues, intimacy, individualism, like there is no way I have something in common with a stranger, not even the speed of walking? Why can't we walk together?"

These questions catapulted me back to a feeling I was much more in touch with as a child, the feeling of connection to another human being, through some unseen force of emotion. Like, when you would be in a room and you could feel that it was thick with a certain emotion; sadness or anger, joy or nervousness, anticipation or love. You could literally feel that emotion crackling through the people in that room as real as anything that you could see or touch.

I remember a time when I was no older than eight, I was watching a stranger walk down the street from the window of my parents' old station wagon. Looking at him, watching how he moved and the expression on his face, I felt suddenly and completely overwhelmed with his sadness. I knew it was his sadness, I knew I was connected to him in some emotional entanglement, and it was overwhelming. Of course I didn't have any words to talk about it then, but I would guess most children are tuned into this energy, and eventually broken of this practice.

No one really ever talked about it, this strange phenomenon of feeling emotions and connection with others, I suppose because it could not be seen or touched. So as I grew up and got older, I became less and less aware of it, only occasionally accidentally tapping into it in its most extreme forms, as clearly my ability to receive it had dulled with age and inattention.

But, as this video reminded me, that spooky feeling of being connected to another person, a stranger even, without a word being shared, is very real. Who of us cannot relate to those moments they are referring to in this film, when you are just walking down the street and suddenly you realize that you have fallen into the exact same rhythm with another pedestrian? The narrator does a great job of capturing the mix of emotions that accompanies this moment. On the one hand, it is exciting to be connected to someone else like this. But that thought is quickly flooded out by embarrassment. Does this other person think I am weird? Are they threatened by me? The more we think about it, the more it freaks us out. So we start to make a conscious effort to disconnect, to walk faster, or slower, or to look busy and unaware of this unintentional connection.

What if instead of our thoughts leading us down this self-conscious path, we instead embraced that moment? In a body movement class I took in seminary we were taught that when we did exercises that led to accidentally bumping into each other, instead of saying the culturally appropriate response to accidental body contact with a stranger (which is: "I'm sorry") we should just say "Thank you." I mean, it's not like anyone got hurt, our bodies just brushed for a second and we were connected, no harm done. But this goes against everything we have been taught about connection - that we are to guard our boundaries from the slightest intrusion from the outside, especially by strangers. Of course, that unconscious impulse has served us well. It can be dangerous to let a stranger get close to you.

At the same time, most of us spend the vast majority of our lives in isolation; even the most beloved amongst us spends most of the day not making physical contact with others. Touch and connection are something that almost all of us feel we could use more of. This emotional connection is totally safe from a body protection standpoint. We don't even have to be touching to feel each other.

Which reminded me of an article I had been reading recently about quantum entanglement, one of the weirder consequences of quantum mechanics. Now, I know many of you are far more versed in this idea than I ever will be, but for the few of you who may need it, here is a very quick refresher on what quantum entanglement is: Basically, when two or more particles interact, their wave function becomes entangled in such a way that some properties of each individual particle become dependent on what happens to the other particles they interacted with. They can then be separated by any amount of distance, placed on opposite sides of the earth or two distant points in space, and they will remain entangled; that is to say, they will continue to depend on each other.

For example, if we were to emit a pair of electrons side by side out into the universe, their spins would be dependent on each other. And if one electron is disturbed and made to spin in the opposite direction, even if the other half of its pair is millions of miles away from it, it will instantly change its spin as well to match its distant and seemingly disconnected pair. Somehow it knows, despite the space between them, what is happening with the other; somehow they remain invisibly entangled.

For me, this is yet another confirmation of a truth I know deep in my body, the same one I was experiencing as a child or we feel when we fall into rhythm with another person walking on the street: that all of us, that all of creation is truly connected, that we are, as the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. so poetically put it, "Caught up in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny."

Quite frankly, this truth scares the you-know-what out of us. Every bit as much as we are inspired by this thought, we are even more terrified of it. Because think of the implications to our lives if we really lived in this truth every day - that we are entangled, bound up and intimately connected. It is staggering. Because, lets face it, just dealing with our own stuff is a battle enough, right? It certainly is for me. And I think the obvious fear is that when we open this channel of connection, like I experienced as a kid, it can be overwhelming and scary.

But as I have gradually rediscovered this capacity in myself over the past years, I have learned that like many other things, it's a different experience than when I was a child. I understand better what is happening, and can exercise some control over the amount of its charge. Not perfectly, but better every time I consciously practice what is quickly becoming one of my most important spiritual practices: feeling connected to others without words. What a powerful experience it is! When this connection doesn't overwhelm you, it becomes incredibly generative and soul quieting.

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Today is, among many things, Volunteer Sunday here at Mission Peak UU, the day we set aside to thank all the people that have made this community possible in the past year. As we have talked about many times before, Mission Peak UU is not a building, or a Minister, or a board or a committee, it is a vehicle for us to become more connected to each other and the world. So these people who have volunteered, in many cases, a significant percentage of their precious time, have made the deepening of our connections possible. It has been our annual tradition for me to go through a list of all the different groups who have contributed to this effort, and for those groups to stand while we loudly and enthusiastically signal our approval and gratitude by cheering. I would like to maintain this tradition this year, however, with one change. As these groups stand up this year, I ask that instead of applauding and cheering, that you remain silent and really look at the people who are standing up, really notice them with your mind. And as you are really looking at them, I ask that you think good thoughts about them, send your gratitude to them silently and hold them in your heart. If you are one of the people standing, I ask that you attempt to make space inside you to take in the love that is being sent your way. Try not to judge it, or think about your worthiness for it, just feel it.

This may sound a little hokey to some, or feel a little vulnerable and scary to others. No one is required to stand if they are not up for it, but I ask that you respectfully give it a try, and lets see how we feel afterwards.

First, I ask that we begin with some silence, just to get centered.

Now, I will begin with those who make our Sundays together possible; please rise or raise your hand as I speak aloud the activity you are involved with. If you find that you are already standing when another activity you are involved with is named, please just raise your hand.

Aesthetics, coffee, chairs and set-up, hymnals, snack table, Stealth Greeters and actual greeters.
Music: choir - Peak Perfomers, and our band Peak Rocks, all our musicians, and those involved with worship planning.
Children's RE at all this year - as a teacher, as a mentor, through the owl program or youth group.
Look at this group who has made our Sundays together possible.
Hold them and send them your gratitude.

Thanks you, you may now be seated.

Then we have all those that have helped plan our special events. Please stand or raise your hand if you have helped with the Black and White Auction, the Sunday Salon, movie nights, after-church discussions, our birthday celebration, or garden party.
Look at this group who has made so many meaningful gathering happen.
Hold them and send them your gratitude.

Thank you, you may now be seated.

Now I will go through our Committees and Interest groups, so please stand or raise your hand as I read your committee name: Adult RE, Canvass, Pastoral Associates/Circle of Care, CaYRE, COM, Facilities, Garden, Interfaith Counseling Project (Connections), Leap of Faith, Membership, Mental Health, Music, Newsletter, Nominating, Sandwich Squad, Small Group Ministry, Social Justice, Website, Worship Associates, and anyone I missed!
Look at this group who have done so much of the work of Mission Peak UU.
Hold them and send them your gratitude.

Thank you, you may now be seated.

And finally of course we have our Board, that is: President Kathy Wallcave, Vice President Melissa Holmes, Secretary Colleen Arnold, Treasurer Mark Kahn, and our trustees Lucienne Bouvier, Brad Wakefield and Vinny Bacon.
Look at this group who has been chosen by you to lead and have joyfully and capably fulfilled your wishes.
Hold them and send them your gratitude.

Thank you, you may be seated.

Wow! Well, I hope you felt what I did. I could feel the love and appreciation crackling through this room, just as I knew I would. Because I know, that like those particles we talk about in quantum physics, we too are entangled, bound up and connected. We all have this incredible capacity for connection with others, but like any muscle it must be practiced and nurtured. Please remember this truth as you leave this place this week. And if you are up to it, consider adding this practice to your life somehow, if occasionally, silently working to feel connected to someone else.

May it be so, amen.