COMMUNITY MATTERS

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Betty is no ordinary 103 year old. Every morning she hops in the car, after having meticulously arranged her hair and made sure that her hot pink lipstick is put on just right, and she drives off to the gym. She doesn't drive tentatively; she drives with purpose and sometimes a little more enthusiasm on the accelerator pedal than might be good for her. She knows her exercise class is waiting for her. After she's lifted her weights and greeted her friends, many of them half her age or less, she hurries off to the local soup kitchen, to help prepare lunch for the area's homeless population. After cooking and serving lunch, Betty sits down to a vegetarian meal with her fellow servers. Small bites and a modest portion is enough for Betty. After lunch, she pops home for a little siesta and some time in prayer. She also reads a few short passages of Scripture and reflects upon them.

Later she does the crossword puzzle, tidies up around the house and then goes to her local Seventh Day Adventist community center to meet friends for a Bible study and potluck dinner. Betty has a balanced life, shared between service, spiritual practice, exercise, rest, and community. Rarely, if ever, does she sit at home waiting for life to come to her. She is always asking the question "who needs me next?" Is it coincidence that Betty has made it to 103? Apparently not.

The latest research into longevity by National Geographic magazine shows that being part of a faith based community, having a clear purpose in life, being of service to others, eating wisely and being naturally active are all key factors to longevity. And Seventh Day Adventists apparently seem to have this combination just right. A group of Adventists not far from here in Loma Linda, CA are seemingly some of the longest living people in America. Though I might proselytize about the benefits of religious community, rest assured I'm not here to convert you to Seventh Day Adventism!

And, of course, many of us are also familiar with the shadow side of religious community, some of us first hand, but that's not what I'm talking about here today.

What I am here to talk about today, is why showing up every Sunday or as often as we can in our UU communities, matters. This is not just about longevity, but in order to live lives of value and purpose; lives that bring greater peace and understanding to the world. Less loving articulations of religious community notwithstanding, apparently being part of a healthy religious community has been proven to make the world a more compassionate place.

And according to the longevity research, being an active member of a faith-based community can increase your life expectancy by 4 to 14 years if you attend at least four times a month!

See, attending church regularly is good for your health!

Alain de Botton, an English philosopher and writer, is known most recently for his book Religion for Atheists. He claims the benefits of religious community are something atheists also want to enjoy. In fact the new Sunday Assemblies movement, started in the UK by two popular comedians, has created church-like gatherings for the unchurched - those who have no experience or background in attending church. They have sermons on how to live a decent life, they sings songs, share coffee and do social action together.

This movement has become so popular in the UK with many branches popping up, that they decided to expand worldwide. The first meeting in Los Angeles was organized by an atheist Unitarian Universalist from the Santa Monica congregation and gathered more than 400 people. Clearly among atheists, as well, there is a hunger for intentional community.

Alain de Botton's School of Life in London is similar and claims to be about living wisely and well. He says it's a place to practice shared values, to deepen wisdom, find moral guidance and support through difficult times, a place to learn about life's lessons and share common goals. All of these are important aspects to people of faith, as well as atheists, who want to live a life of meaning and fulfillment. In fact, Alain's School looks remarkably like a church.

Not in its physical structure - it's a small yellow shop front in the heart of Bloomsbury on a busy street in London. But rather in what it offers. With free Wi-Fi access, a commercial kitchen, a lending library and a coffee and drinks area, the School of Life features sermons, classes, psychotherapy, study areas, yoga and more. Its offerings include classes on how to be a better parent, how to sustain a long-term relationship, how to be of service, and how to find calm, for example. And it has a library featuring readings on philosophy, psychology, history and social change. It all sounds remarkably like what we do in our congregations, without the terms religion or church.

The point is, Alain and the new Sunday Assembly movement, have discovered that a community of meaning and values is something many of us long for and need, to live more fulfilled and rewarding lives. It shouldn't solely remain the domain of the religious.

Our contemporary society can be so isolating. People move all over the country and can feel separated from their communities of origin. Today's media-driven lifestyles can leave us tucked away at home without a community of support. Rates for depression and divorce are soaring. People that don't have groups to participate in can feel especially lonely and unsupported. Facebook only goes so far. The Sunday Assembly movement is realizing this, and is capitalizing on the idea that people want to gather in communities of meaning. We Unitarian Universalists understand this as well.

Our beloved communities offer the world freedom, tolerance, service and love. The media has even dubbed us "the love people" as a result of our "Standing on the Side of Love" campaign! What an honor.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk, has a community of mindfulness, called Plum Village, in France. He is a great advocate for the importance of conscious community, so much so that he says:

"It is possible that the next Buddha will not take the form of an individual. The next Buddha may take the form of a community - a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the Earth."

Take a moment with me now to breathe deeply and reflect on what brings you here. What matters to you about this community? Why do you attend and what do you hope both to give and to gain here?

I don't know about you, but for me finding my UU Community was life changing. And I've heard from others who were lonely or lost, whose lives were literally saved by finding one of our congregations. I searched for community for so long - a community where I could truly be myself, bring all of me, my gifts and my flaws, and still be accepted and welcomed. I didn't think I could belong to a church since I didn't want to ascribe to creeds and beliefs that were inauthentic, yet I had a longing for spiritual connection and community. At the time, I had no idea that Unitarian Universalism even existed.

I was blessed in that I had a family, a loving husband and son. Yet often we would feel quite isolated since none of our relatives lived nearby and we didn't have childhood friends in our new town. We missed being part of a group that had greater vision and purpose that supported one another through the ups and downs of life.

So when we found the Unitarian Society of Santa Barbara, the church we attend, we felt like we came home. Not because of the beautiful building, or the amazing sermons and music, though these were appealing of course. But because of the community. Because of the love and kindness that was extended to our family. Because of the people of multiple generations attending, so that our son could be raised in a true community, with wisdom and diverse experience. Because of the encouragement to share our gifts and to be fully ourselves.

Because of the values that I found we shared, that allow us to live much bigger, more meaningful lives.

Of course as Unitarian Universalists we also have amazing faith exploration programs, do life-changing service work, enjoy institutional support and celebratory community gatherings, but I find what truly connects us is our clear call to a life of principles and values. I am challenged every week, to look more deeply at my impact on the earth, to explore my call to justice and to stretch my ability to love. Standing on the side of love calls me to open my heart, and perhaps even pry it open a little further when I encounter people who challenge me or are difficult to love in some way. Being in a very real and therefore imperfect community gives me that opportunity. Our mandate is to love, to see the divine spark in everyone, no matter who they are or what they've done.

I find this can be extremely challenging, especially when people have hurt me or others and their worth and dignity seems less obvious. Yet our first principle calls me to withhold judgment and come from a place of curiosity, looking to find someone's dignity and worth. This is the highest call of most religions, to love your neighbor as yourself, and extend the hand of compassion to all. Being in community gives me the chance to practice this, even when someone has utterly different views or ways of being.

And yes, of course it can be hard being in community. Just by its very nature. I'm sure we've all had disappointments when we were misunderstood or couldn't connect.

We are human and imperfect after all. We will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, not volunteer when someone really needs us to, or sing too loud or do the wrong thing. But it's worth being here anyway.

Because all relationships are flawed and messy. Our work is learning to be with imperfection and still show up. Our work is learning to listen to one another, even when we disagree. Especially when we disagree.

And maybe rather than work, I should call it our opportunity. Because that's really what it is. It's our opportunity for spiritual and personal growth, to be with one another, to love one another and the world even when it's hard.

And sitting in the pews next to each other when we all have such different beliefs can stretch us too.

Though we often pay lip service as UUs to our acceptance of one another, truly being OK with each other when one person yearns for the word "God" in a sermon while it is triggering to another, sets up challenging conditions. Friends, our community calls us to be bigger.

Our principles invite us to support one another on our spiritual quests, encouraging one another towards spiritual growth, whether or not we believe in a God, whether or not we like to pray. This is what makes us so unique. Just using the word 'spiritual' stretches some of us, but this is what sets us apart from secular organizations, and why we are called a religious community. The Sunday Assembly movement targets atheists and is therefore not as inclusive as we can be. We can explore and express our values in community with atheists, humanists, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims and others, sitting side by side in our pews. What a rare privilege!

Here, together, we can work towards creating a world community of peace, liberty and justice for all. Alone, these goals are hard to achieve. In community, when we gather to unite in a cause, we can really make a difference.

Together we can march for peace, for racial justice, for immigration rights, and equal rights for all. Together we are stronger, more effective and more far-reaching than we could ever be alone. Together we can create a kinder, more compassionate world.

Honoring our interdependent web, together we can celebrate one another as we find partners, have children, get a job, express our passions or transition to a new life stage. And when times are tough and we lose a job, or a relationship, or when we're sick or have to bury a beloved member of the community, we can mourn together and support one another. We are so much more together.

How has belonging to a Unitarian Universalist community enriched your life? For my part, I'm imagining I might live a longer, more fulfilled life, because of what we teach one another, how we care for one another and how we strive to be in this world. I am transformed by attending services weekly, being engaged in community service activities, and being challenged to love more broadly.

What brings you here? Why are you drawn to being a part of this community? Does attending keep you focused on the values you hold, such that you can make a purposeful difference in the world? Do you think it might expand your wisdom and heart or possibly increase your lifespan? Is it a place to be held and feel safe, a place to heal and be loved in the midst of sorrows and struggle?

Is it a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to worship the great mystery of life in the communion of others? Or is it a place to explore your gifts and talents, and be celebrated for who you are?

I invite you to look at your reasons for being here, even if this is your first time here. Because you matter! We each matter and are a vital piece of the puzzle that makes up this community. Without you here, the puzzle will never be whole. There will always be a piece missing.

However you can be here, whether it is regularly, and you volunteer and participate wholeheartedly, or whether it's every now and then when you can, you are welcome here. Not only are you welcome, you matter to this community. And this community matters to the planet.

Remember Betty, whom I told you about at the beginning? She gets a sense of purpose and belonging from her community. And the world is a better place because of how she contributes and engages with her community. She's an inspiring example for us all, not just because she's 103, but because she's still going strong thanks to her community.

Together, may we bring more love, more compassion, more meaning and more justice to one another and our planet. And may this community make the world a kinder, more loving and beautiful place.

May it be so. Amen.